I released two biographies last year, then Brooke and Levi, my characters in Possessed by Love turned their backs on me. Would not speak to me. I knew where I wanted to take them, but they refused to talk to me. I tried to start the story on my own but suddenly, my heart just wasn’t into it.

COVID had already turned our lives upside down, led to the blahs. Masks, social distancing and limited occupancy made book signings no fun. I missed seeing my kids and grandchildren, stayed indoors since I couldn’t really go anywhere. There were no family birthdays, Christmas wasn’t the same. My heart just wasn’t into it.

I’ve missed travelling so much. The trip to Italy, number one in my bucket list, was cancelled last week. Another was cancelled last year. I was given a voucher for another trip, but my heart just wasn’t into it.

I’m usually a patient kind of gal; won’t give up as long as there’s a chance to see resolution. But suddenly I would fly off the handle if the print cartridge needed changing, a computer update took too long or created havoc with my routine, anything. I would look at my calendar and see that I wasn’t meeting my writing goals and shrug a shoulder. My heart just wasn’t into it.

Since Brooke and Levi wouldn’t talk to me, I decided to try another passion, genealogy. Started putting together a family history. Was doing okay until I got to my 5th Great-Grandfather Andrew who just appeared out of thin air in 1709 in Middlesex County, Virginia. Libraries and Historical Societies are not open for research so frustration set in and once again, my heart just wasn’t into it.

Then a wonderful doctor looked me in the eye, listened to me and explained how he could help. Reminded me that your mental and physical health go hand in hand; when one doesn’t work, it affects the other. He performed a heart ablation and slowly, my energized heart is putting things back into sync.

I try to offer inspiration in everything I write. I am by no means an expert but just like you can sync your cell phone with your computer, your mind and body need to be in sync too. If you can’t shake the blues, constantly worry about things or just don’t want to be around anyone, maybe you need step back and look at the broader picture. Maybe you need to take the bull by the horns and do something about it. Whether it be to take more walks and enjoy the scenery, check the food labels and eat more nutritious foods or pick up the phone, call a friend to catch up or share your concerns. Sometimes the answer is right in front of you, but it takes someone else to show you. More importantly, if you don’t feel right, call your doctor. Like I did.

My world is slowly returning to normal. My recharged heart has energized me, I feel the spark of creativity returning. I found myself wanting to jot down ideas today; reached for my thesaurus which I haven’t done in two months! Tomorrow, I might reach for my headset and start using my dragon dictation program to put more thoughts to paper.

Maybe if Brooke and Levi hear me talking about them, they will see that my heart is finally into it.